marriage

While many couples celebrating an anniversary post joyous messages and proclaim their excitement about the future on social media, I couldn’t bring myself to do the same when my husband, Todd, and I reached our 20th wedding anniversary a couple weeks ago. It’s not because we don’t have a good…

A family friend visited last week, prompting a trip down memory lane to the days long before my husband, Todd, had ALS. My teenage daughter and her boyfriend sat on the couch behind us, while Todd, our friend Abby, and I sat around the kitchen table sharing memories…

Before my husband, Todd, had ALS, our marriage had a normal rhythm to it. He’d go to work, and I’d care for our small children, filling their days with activities. Todd and I would reconnect each evening, sharing updates on our respective days. We took our kids on walks…

Music had been a source of connection and mild contention early in my relationship with my husband, Todd, but it hadn’t been much of either since Todd became paralyzed due to ALS. Our first date was to an Alison Krauss & Union Station concert. Todd was new to Milwaukee…

Author and counselor Douglas C. Smith wrote in Health and Happiness U.P. Magazine about five types of grief people are experiencing through the pandemic. As I read through the article, I realized I have experienced all of them — anticipatory, general, disenfranchised, ambiguous, and vicarious grief — with my…

“‘The problem is all inside your head,’ she said to me, ‘The answer is easy if you take it logically,’ … She said, ‘It grieves me so to see you in such pain, I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again.’ I said, ‘I appreciate…

I felt twinges of grief as I shopped for a card for a young couple’s wedding. First card: “Wishes on this special day for happiness, joy, and love, along with a future that will bring everything you are dreaming of.” Sigh. I wish my husband and I had a future.

Eighteen years ago, Todd and I joined our lives in marriage, vowing for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and we went forward together as friends and allies. Jesus taught that joining in marriage is “two becoming one flesh.” Indeed, I felt oneness with Todd. We liked…

“I’m glad I got the chance to miss you,” I told my husband, Todd, when I got home after a day trip skiing with our children last week. Since Todd has ALS and I am his caregiver, we rarely spend time apart. Now that he is paralyzed, we don’t…

I asked my husband, Todd, why he thought our relationship worked as well as it does. I was preparing to write a column about how we still love each other through the stress of living with his ALS for a decade now. It would be understandable for him to…