relationships

“‘The problem is all inside your head,’ she said to me, ‘The answer is easy if you take it logically,’ … She said, ‘It grieves me so to see you in such pain, I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again.’ I said, ‘I appreciate…

“And so castles made of sand Fall into the sea eventually.” — Jimi Hendrix From time to time, given my predilection for quoting songs in my columns, I’m asked whether a song triggers content, or if it’s subject matter in search of lyrics. The answer is, circumstantially, either. On…

I’ve been thinking about time travel after watching a couple movies with my husband, Todd, who has ALS. We enjoyed “About Time” during one of our date nights and “The Time Traveler’s Wife” during another. Both movies have subplots that involve love, marriage, and children. If time travel…

“You shoot me glances and they’re so hard to read, I misconstrue what you mean. … Are you just playing, making passes? Well, my heart could use some glasses. … Do I read you correctly, I need you directly,…

I asked my husband, Todd, why he thought our relationship worked as well as it does. I was preparing to write a column about how we still love each other through the stress of living with his ALS for a decade now. It would be understandable for him to…

In his book “Out of Solitude,” Henri Nouwen writes, “When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch…

When someone asks how I am in passing, I know the script: “I’m fine. How are you?” Sure, the question and response are meant to be pleasantries in our polite society, but since my husband has ALS, some days the question feels weighty. It stirs smoldering emotions, reigniting the…

A zero-sum game is a situation in which the accumulation of gain is accompanied by a sum of loss of equal value. The net result is always zero. From the get-go, ALS seeks to make that outcome an impossibility. It strives to force a plunging and irreversible deficit. In the…

Living with ALS can cause dramatic changes to your relationships. When I felt my relationships fracturing under the strain of my disease and growing disabilities, I realized I needed help. So, I turned to my best friend, Melissa Rothstein, who has always given me great advice. Melissa has been living…